Things have changed so quickly but I haven’t changed a bit. At least not my feelings I must say.
I definitely feel like I’ve grown as a person, and that I finally have the ability to see things from a different perspective than I did before. It definitely stinks that you have to be apart from the things that you truly love to be able to appreciate them to the fullest. I though I had learned, but clearly there’s different versions of everything. Being away from my family taught me to appreciate them so much; to love even the bad things about every single one of my siblings and my parents. But this time is different…
It’s been an eye opener for me to have had to leave. I have been so unappreciative, so childish even. Yes, I have worked hard, and gotten my own place… But that didn’t mean I was a grown up, I am not. But now I am a step closer to become the person I want to be. I know now that when I’m able to go back home, things will be just the same but that I’ll be able to experience them differently. I’ll enjoy every second in the company of my friends and the people I love and care about. I’ll never be ungrateful again because I just couldn’t even dare to. I have realized that I just need to stop trying to change things and just accept them instead.
Nothing is perfect, and I am the least perfect person on earth. But little by little, I realize more things that I need to
do to become the person that I want to be.
It really hurts to be away from home, and it sucks even more than I didn’t realize that was my home until I left. It hurts to be far away from the person you love the most, and most importantly it hurts to see that person hurt. But nothing worth having comes easy. Nothing that is now perfect was remotely it at the beginning. So I won’t give up. I’ll endure the pain because at the end of this few months, going back home will be more than perfect.
I’ve always been happy, I just never realized it. So I’m sorry. I am so sorry for not appreciating all the important things and people in my life. Sorry for complaining about naive and unimportant things instead of enjoying myself with all the amazingly perfect things I had.
I can’t wait to go back home. I really cannot.